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CURRENT"Watch this"p. 301
THE DAD MANUAL
ISSUE 26041
RESTRICTED: DAD USE ONLY

Public Incidents

Shoes, aisles, and the long walk to the car.

Issued: 2023-01-22 • Last reviewed: 2024-07-14 Revision 1.0

Notes compiled from repeated incidents. Not advice. Just… patterns.

Use the contents below to jump to a section.

DIAGRAM / REFERENCE
MELTDOWN RADIUSBYSTANDER JUDGEMENTEXIT PATH: BLOCKED"WATCH THIS" VECTORINCIDENT IN PROGRESSCOMPONENT: AISLE EVENTSTATUS: PUBLICREV: 1.0 • USE: INCIDENTS
IN THIS MANUAL
  • "Watch this"
  • Shoes in public
  • Are we there yet
  • The meltdown in aisle 7
  • The shoe removal event
Unofficial guidance for domestic operations • Updated occasionally

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Sections
going out

SECTIONS

Sections

"Watch this"

What happens when they say "watch this" in public

p. 301
Category: going outStatus: KNOWN ISSUEPage: 301

When they say it in a park or a shop or literally anywhere, assume it’s going to go wrong. Either they hurt themselves or you have to leave. There’s no third option.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Shoes in public

When kids take their shoes off in shops and refuse to put them back

p. 303
Category: going outStatus: COMMONPage: 303

At some point they will take them off and refuse to put them back. The longer you’ve been in the building, the more likely.

NOTE

Arguing in the aisle just extends the runtime. Pick a policy and execute.

Arguing in the middle of Tesco doesn’t work. Pick a policy and follow through. If you can’t find the shoes, check the next trolley. I’m serious.

Are we there yet

Are we there yet — how to survive car journeys

p. 305
Category: going outStatus: COMMONPage: 305

They’ll ask five minutes in. Then again. Then again. You can explain time. It won’t help.

Best options: snacks, audiobook, or "when the big tower appears." Pick a landmark. Lie about how far it is. We’re all doing it.

The meltdown in aisle 7

What to do when your toddler has a meltdown in a supermarket

p. 307
Category: going outStatus: KNOWN ISSUEPage: 307

It’s going to happen. Someone’s going to lose it over something that doesn’t matter. Probably in front of people who don’t have kids and are definitely judging.

You can’t reason with it. Get through the checkout. Get to the car. Nobody in that shop will remember you in ten minutes.

The PE Kit Revelation

PE kit discovered at drop-off — it wasn't washed

p. 323
Category: going outStatus: HIGH RISKPage: 323

Discovered at drop-off. It was supposed to be washed.

It was not. You consider moving schools.

This document may be revised without notice.

Unofficial field documentation. Updated occasionally.

Dad problems index →InkFusionLabs →

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